Realization
by backlash
Summary: Trowa is distrought over Quatre's death. But is he dead?
1. Default Chapter Title

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters_

#  Realization

Trowa was trying to watch the news as Duo and Wufei were arguing which was better Pepsi or coke. They argued over the stupidest things sometimes. They all lived in a house together all except for Quatre. Trowa would often watch the news hoping for a glimpse of him. The last time he saw him he became worried. He could tell that Quatre was not happy working for his father's company. It was slowly draining him. 

Finally the news came on with special live video. "This just in Quatre Reberba Winner was shot and now we go to the live footage." Trowa yelled, "SHUT UP!" 

The others shut up and joined him by the TV as the watched the coverage.

Quatre stepped out of his office building and clutched his chest in pain his shirt soaked in blood. As he fell to the ground an unknown shooter shot him from above. People were just standing around no one seemed to be helping. Finally Quatre's sister Iria ran out and held him she yelled at the camera. "What hell is wrong with you people? Stop taping and call an ambulance."

"Is there any news on his condition?" the reporter asked a doctor.

"I'm afraid mister Winner didn't make it." 

Trowa couldn't breathe. He started crying hysterically. "NO! he's not dead it's a lie." he started throwing things and completely broke down. Duo ended up taking him to his room after they had to knock him out.

********************

Elsewhere...... A boy with golden hair woke up in extreme pain. "Welcome back master Quatre."

"Rashid where am I?"

"You were shot do you remember?"

"Yes. This doesn't look like a hospital."

"It's not. I have found a way out for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone thinks you're dead. you can be free to find happiness."

*************

Trowa didn't speak to anyone for a long time. He became very distressed when Quatre's body went missing. Something was nagging at his heart. When Quatre's died he stole his heart. He loved him so much and never had a chance to tell him. His cowardess got the better of him. He was always afraid he would lose Quatre if he told him. A lot of good it did him he lost him anyway. Death is forever and there was no getting his little one back.

Duo was sitting by Trowa's bed when he woke up. "Duo? please tell me this is someone's idea of a joke."

"I'm sorry I know you haven't excepted it but it's true. Quatre's gone."

"Why? Quatre can't be dead. Not my Quatre." he could feel the tears coming.

"You loved him didn't you Trowa?" he nodded.

"I wish I would have told him. I was stupid not to."

"I'm sure he knew."

"I.. He doesn't feel gone. His body was stolen who would do such a thing? Why do I feel like he's still alive?"

"I know how you feel. He was my best friend. He was the heart of the team. I don't know what we'll do without him."

"STOP IT!! stop talking about him in the past tense. You're talking about him as if he's."

"Dead? he is dead Trowa you're just going to have to learn to accept that."

*********************

Quatre was happy he was free. It lived in a small cottage on earth. Near was a beautiful waterfall. He had a garden and wasn't to far from a small town. The place was breathtaking. Yet he felt like something was missing. He wished he could share it with Trowa. He found himself calling Trowa and hanging up he just needed to hear his voice.

He had been separated from Trowa before but now that he was supposedly dead. He couldn't see the one person that meant the most to him. At least when he was away before he could still see Trowa. He could call or visit but now he was dead. Trowa might be pissed if he were to find out that Quatre was indeed alive.

_ I miss you Trowa. I love you please don't be mad. I hope that one day we will be reunited. Even though you don't feel that way about me . I will always love you._

******************

_I will always Love you."_

Trowa sat up quickly. "Quatre?"

Trowa had fallen into a deep depression he didn't talk to anyone anymore. He wasn't living not really. He just went through the motions.

*****************

Quatre could sense Trowa was in danger from himself. Could he really risk trying to contact Trowa? To blow his cover and ruin his new found freedom? Or will he seek out Trowa. _ Oh No Trowa's in danger. I have to stop him._

****************

Trowa was walking on a dirt road. He needed to get away from the others when he noticed an on coming car approaching. He made no move he just stood there waiting for the car to hit him. _ I'll be joining you soon Quatre."_

As the car came closer Trowa felt someone lunge at him and push him out of the way. He landed on the cement. The savior leaned over him to see if he was all right. Trowa looked up. "Quatre?" then he lost consciences.

TBC? 

**[Part 2][1]**

[Backlash's Fics][2]

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/real2.html
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/Backlash.html



	2. Default Chapter Title

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters_

#  Realization

####  Part 2

**[Backlash][1]**

Trowa winced in pain as he awoke. "You hit your head lay back down."

"Rashid? I thought I saw Quatre." 

"You must have been dreaming. Get some rest." _ No it wasn't a dream._

Trowa nodded and pretended to go back to sleep. For some reason he didn't believe him. Trowa followed Rashid to the living room where he was talking to someone.

"He thinks it was a dream. If he doesn't see you there's no reason for you to reveal yourself."

"I can't. He wanted to die. He wanted that car to hit him. I will not turn my back on him."

"But master Quatre if he knows your alive he'll tell. Do you really want to go back to that way of life. "

"He's my friend."

"I will take care of him. It's not like it will even matter to him anyway. He doesn't care about you. Isn't that what you said? Now there is a car out front it will take you to another secluded villa."

"I don't want to leave him. I've grown to love it here but I can move on. Not without Trowa though. He's in pain and I will help him. Ow." Quatre clutched his stomach his wound was still quite painful.

Some men walked in the door. "What? who are they?"

"I'm sorry but this is for your own good. I can't bare to see you unhappy again and going back will kill your spirit."

The men grabbed him again started pulling him. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!" yelled a very upset Trowa. Quatre fell to the ground when they let go. Trowa yelled. "GET OUT!"

Rashid knew it was too late and left taking the men with him. Leaving only Quatre and Trowa facing eachother in utter silence. Quatre was at a loss he didn't know what to say. His wound was really starting to hurt the doctor had told him not to stay on his feet for to long. But when he had a vision of Trowa hurt he just had to go.

"You're alive?"

"You mad, Trowa?" he asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

Quatre could no longer stand on his own so he sat at the table. Trowa went over to him and saw blood soaking through his shirt. Trowa unbuttoned Quatre's shirt to examine the wound. It seemed all right it just needed tending. Quatre watched him waiting for a response to hid question.

"I'm not mad. I'm happy your alive." then he gave his a tender hug. He continued, "You saved me?"

"Yes."

"How did you know?"

"I can't explain. I just did."

"You should be resting with a wound like that."

"I wasn't going to let you die. Besides didn't I tell you I'd always be there for you?"

Trowa smile and helped Quatre to bed. He took him to a different room one that had to beds. He wanted to be close to Quatre and he was sleepy himself. "You can tell me what happened later. Right now lets get some rest."

"OK. One thing though I'm not the only one that has some explaining to do. Just remember that." Trowa smiled it was nice to hear Quatre nagging him again.

TBC

## [Part 3][2] [Backlash's fics][3]

   [1]: Mailto:backdrop001@msn.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/real3.html
   [3]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/Backlash.html



	3. Default Chapter Title

_ Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters_

** By [Backlash][1]**

# Realization

#### Part 3

Quatre woke up before Trowa and sat next to his bed and watched him sleep. He looked so at peace what could possibly have happened to make him want to hurt himself. After surviving that horrible war. Sure now he was a preventer but that hadn't been anything really horrible that Quatre had known about.

Trowa slowly opened his eyes to see his friend watching him. Quatre asked, "How do you feel?"

"I should be asking you that. After all you were the one who was shot."

"I didn't ask how I was feeling. How is your head?"

"Same old Quatre putting others before himself. It's a little sore but not as bad."

Quatre smiled at him. Trowa asked, "Why are smiling?"

"No reason. I just missed you."

Then it turned into a sad smile as he realized how much he missed Trowa. He knew he would have to leave and start a new life. He would never see Trowa again. He only had a month to prepare for the change and although he wanted the freedom. He was terrified of a life without Trowa.

"I missed you too." he smiled.

"Trowa I don't know why you tried to hurt yourself but, please don't do that whatever is troubling you just know I'm your friend and will help you. That is if you want it. Even if you don't I don't have long here in this villa."

"What do you mean?"

"In about a month I will be moving to a more secluded place. I will live out my days. Rashid is making arrangements."

"More secluded? Quatre as it stands this place is practically a deserted island."

"Actually that's what the place will be. No people or anything. I will be free at least."

"Quatre you need people. That doesn't sound like freedom to me it's more like isolation."

"Trowa I have a month left. Would you stay? Please?" he pleaded.

"Yes I will stay." Quatre smiled brightly._ Maybe it will give me time enough to convince this isn't the right choice. I can't lose him again. Please not again._

Trowa knew Quatre and he would not survive by himself. What was he thinking living out the rest of his life? he's still young. Quatre was such a bright person. he was Trowa's sunshine in the darkness. With him gone would the sun never rise again.__

Quatre can't be alone. I don't want him to be alone. He would be so miserable. I used to be alone but Quatre came along and gave me companionship that I didn't know I wanted. I love him and now I have a second chance to tell him I just kind seem to find the courage. I have a month to make him fall in love with me. Or risk him leaving forever. 

Quatre was genuinely happy that Trowa was staying. At least he would have a month with him. Before he went into hiding. Was the price of freedom really worth all of this?

TBC?

**[Backlash's Fics][2] **

   [1]: Mailto:backdrop001@msn.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/backlash.html



	4. Default Chapter Title

_ Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters_

**By [Backlash][1]**

# Realization

#### Part 4

"Are we there yet?" asked Trowa. Quatre had his hands covering Trowa's eyes as he led him through the tree's. "Almost."

"Why can't you just let me see. What if I run into something?"

"Trust me I'll be your eyes. It's something special that I want to share with you."

"Allright ready?" Quatre lifted his hands from Trowa's eyes. Trowa looked at the crystal waters flowing from the waterfall he could see hints of a rainbow. "It's beautiful."

"I like to come here. It always reminds me of you." he smiled.

"it does?" asked Trowa.

"Yes. It's so beautiful."

"Yes very. Thank you for sharing it with me." he smiled._ he thinks it's beautiful does that mean he thinks I'm beautiful? How very Quatre like. I think you're beautiful to little one._ Trowa noticed Quatre was looking at him. "What?"

"I like it when you smile. You should do it more often. You do it so rare but when you do it always brightens my day." his smile became bigger.

Quatre and Trowa spent the day there. Just hanging around laughing and playing. _ It's good to hear Trowa laugh. What will happen to him when I'm gone. I wish I could stay. I wish he could come with me. I can't do that to him though. I can't take him to my soon to be prison._ For the next few weeks Quatre took care of Trowa. Trowa did nice little things for Quatre. He gave him flowers and made him a candle lit dinner. Quatre thought nothing of it. He figured he was just showing him gradittude for saving him. Quatre only had a week left before he was to leave.

As Quatre was packing some boxes Trowa came in with an odd look on his face. Quatre hadn't seen him yet. Quatre's hands began to shake and tear were running down his face when he finally lost it. He picked up the box and threw it across the room. Then he fell to his knees and cried.

Trowa went to him and gathered him in his arms. He held him tightly not only for Quatre but for himself as well. He picked Quatre up and took him to his room. Quatre didn't say anything instead began to tremble. Trowa could sense that Quatre was afraid but what of he didn't know. He sat Quatre on the bed and sat on the floor on his knees looking up at Quatre.

They just sat there in silence. Quatre placed hid hand on Trowa's cheek. He felt so warm and his skin was smooth. Quatre continued to gaze into Trowa's beautiful eyes. Soon he would have to leave Trowa and it tore him apart. His heart ached he missed his friends but mostly he had missed Trowa.

Quatre took his hand away and went over to the window. He stared out at the sky. Trowa went over to him and turned Quatre so they were facing. "I know you love me Quatre."

"What? No you can't. You can't possibly know."

Quatre ran out of the room and into the darkness of night. He kept running and running through the tree's. "Quatre where are you?" yelled Trowa.

"Leave me alone." he cried.

"Quatre come back. It's dark you might get hurt."

"Leave me alone. I'll be fine. I know these woods like the back of my......Whoaaaaa." Quatre slipped off the edge of a cliff.

"QUATRE? are you all right." silence. "Quatre."

"Trowa help."

Trowa followed the voice. Trowa trailed through the woods trying to find him. It just all looked the same until he finally reached the edge of the cliff he looked down. He saw Quatre holding on the side. Quatre looked up and saw Trowa.

"Quatre give me your hand."

"No."

"What?"

"Trowa technically I am suppose to be dead. You're not."

"I don't understand."

"If I give you my hand you might fall to. You have a life to go back to I don't." Quatre started slipping.

"Quatre if you fall I will jump. You know I will. Now give me your hand. Please? I can't lose you not again."

Quatre looked up again and knew Trowa was series. He reluctantly reached out and Trowa began to pull him up. When he pulled Quatre to safety he held him tightly and began to cry. He cried very hard he could barely breathe. Quatre held him and began to stroke his hair. This time he picked Trowa up. 

When they returned Quatre made some hot cocoa and gave it to Trowa. "Here drink this." Trowa took it but his hands were shaking. He looked up at Quatre with anger. "DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!"

"I'm sorry."

" I can't believe you sometimes Quatre. SORRY? GO TO HELL." Trowa stood up and went to his room. He slammed the door. He laid on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

Quatre went back to his room and started to think. _ Rashid was right I should have let him think I was dead. He hates me I guess I really messed up this time. Maybe I should just go now. I've become such a burden to him._ Quatre began to pack his clothes. He came across an old photo of himself and Trowa. He sat on the bed and stared at it. "What happened to us Trowa?"

When Trowa woke up Quatre was gone. There was a note.

_Trowa,_

I am sorry for the trouble I have caused you  
All I seem to do is cause you pain  
I hope nothing but the best for you  
Don't worry about me I'll be fine  
I decided to leave without telling   
anyone including Rashid  
I'm going to find a place of my   
own and maybe one day when you  
don't hate anymore I'll see you again.   
Before last not I was actually  
thinking of asking you to come I guess   
I've become selfish but, I couldn't take you  
away from the others or your new found family  
at the circus I know you were happy there with your sister.  
tell the others I love them as I would brothers  
they have been my family for so long.  
I miss them greatly. You once asked me how I knew you were  
going to kill yourself it's because I was following you that day.  
I missed you so much I just wanted to see you once more.  
Please don't worry about me even though I have a big family   
I've always been on my own. I'll be allright 

So long my friend,

Love always Quatre.

PS. You were right I am in love with you. I hope you find someone to love you deserve it.

"I love you to.I'm not letting you go. I will find you even if I have to spend the rest of my life doing it." Trowa decided to go to the waterfall one last time.

TBC still reading I hope.

[Backlash's Fics][2]

   [1]: Mailto:backdrop001@msn.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/backlash.html



	5. Default Chapter Title

_ Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or any of the characters_

# Realization

#### Part 5

** By [Backlash][1]**

As Trowa approached he saw a figure sitting on some rocks watching the waterfall. 

Could it be?"Quatre?" he looked at Trowa suddenly.

"I thought you left."

"I did but something drew me here. I seem to be stuck. My body just doesn't want to go any further."

Trowa went over and sat next to him. Quatre got up to leave. "You leaving?"

"I think it's time that I did. Trowa?"

"Yes."

"You seem calm. Are you still mad at me?"

"I wasn't mad I was scared."

"Scared?"

"I was afraid you would die on me again. I didn't mean to yell I was just shaken. Why did you runaway from me?"

"I. You said you knew I loved you. Which by the way I do." he smiled.

"I love you to. before we get into that please continue."

"I'll be leaving." he said sadly.

"So."

"So if by some miracle you loved me back it would be too hard to say goodbye. If you didn't we might not part as friends and I didn't want that."

Trowa leaned close to Quatre and kissed him lightly on the lips. Quatre smiled as Trowa deepened the kiss and took him in his arms. Trowa kissed Quatre all around his neck and started to unbutton Quatre's shirt. Quatre suddenly pulled away. "We shouldn't Trowa." then he broke down and started to cry.

Trowa put his arms around him and caressed his hair. "Quatre my Quatre."

"It's not fair Trowa. I find out you love me and I can't even be with you. I wish I had died." he continued to cry.

"Now you listen to me Quatre. I'm not going anywhere unless you are by my side. I can't go on without you. I won't." he paused and then continued in a very light voice. "Please don't talk about dying." then he pulled away.

Quatre pulled him back immediately. "Please don't turn away from me. I don't want to be without you either. but..."

"My life began when an angel showed me an act of kindness. We will find a life of our own together. Just you and me as it should be. The people we care about have their own lives they will be fine. Now it's our time. We can go on together."

"Yes together. I love you Trowa."

"And I you. My Quatre my angel."

"There's a shortcut through the woods to a cafe. How about breakfast?"

"Sounds good but, why don't I lead?"

"Trowa, I know these woods like the back of my hand."

"This sounds familiar." They kissed with a promise of love. 

What do you think did it totally suck?

[Backlash's fics][2]

   [1]: Mailto:backdrop001@msn.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Destiny0403/Backlash.html



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